dragon.jpg
 

How To Actually Train Your Dragon

 

Real life Dragon Training

 

If you are on this site, there's a high likelihood that you watched How To Train Your Dragon only to be disappointed with the lack of actual dragon training instruction. If they wanted to leave out the dragon aspect, that's totally fine with us. But they should at least change the name of the movie. Here are a few examples of better names for the film: The Bow and The Dragon; Vikings: The Quest To Ride Dragons; or even The Viking Dragon Mutual Partnership. We feel that you have been robbed of your money, and we hope that this website will help you not only realize that you are not alone, but also show you how to actually train your dragon.

 
dragn.png

TIPS & Tricks!

 

Helping your dragon behave properly in public and around others is of paramount importance. You don't want to be THAT guy who owns the dragon that is peeing in someone's yard, eating the neighbor's dog, or even burning some countryside with his fire breath. A great way to correct behavior and create a bond between you and your dragon is teaching it some great tricks. Some highly recommended tricks include: sit, play dead, burn, roast, broil, toast, simmer, shake, and protect that gold you stole from my dead relatives.

 With our help, we can help your dragon accomplish some of the scenarios below. Not only will you have a well-behaved dragon, but you'll also be the talk of the town! 

 

 

Incinerate Local Village:

      STEP 1: LOCATE LOCAL VILLAGE             STEP 2: TRAVEL TO LOCAL VILLAGE                STEP 3: INCINERATE VILLAGE                STEP 4: CELEBRATE YOUR VICTORY


BBQ WITH FRIENDS

        STEP 1: COMPILE GUEST LIST                     STEP 2: PICK UP GROCERIES                      STEP 3: GRILL YOUR FOOD                  STEP 4: HANG WITH YOUR FRIENDS


breed A dragon

              STEP 1: FIND A BIRD                              STEP 2: FIND A SNAKE                        STEP 3: LOCK THEM IN A ROOM                      STEP 4: SET THE MOOD

Frequently Asked Questions

 

background.jpg

The Internet's Premier Dragon Training WEbsite


DT.png

Daenerys Targaryen

"Being the mother of dragons can be really tough sometimes, but thanks to ThisIsActuallyHowToTrainYourDragon.com, my dragons are very well-behaved, and only kill people I tell them to!"

barb.png

BARBARA SCHMITZEL

"After using and applying everything I learned on ThisIsActuallyHowToTrainYourDragon.com, Susan McFarland doesn't f*ck with me anymore!"

Sir Knight BOWEN

"I was fortunate enough to have a dragon with an accent like Sean Connery, but he lacked discipline and was a little bit of a p*ssy, but now he's great and we're the best of friends!"

Stu.png

Harold Jones

"ThisIsActuallyHowToTrainYourDragon.com has made my BBQ's even better! My dragon, Puff, has never cooked better steaks, and all my neighbors compliment me on how well behaved she is!"